Gifted Zombies
by Sir Heroden
Summary: Who doesn't want a French zombie chauffeur? Especially one that can drive you to the shops and help you make friends. The story of when Hades had a 'get to know my son' moment and gives Nico Jules-Albert (as mentioned in Blood of Olympus). A short written from a moment of inspiration.


**My latest short story about the time when Hades gave Nico a French zombie (Jules-Albert) as an expression of his fatherly love. Set between the events of the two series. No spoilers within.**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

 **-o-o-**

 **Gifted Zombies**

"The boy needs to eat more cereal!" Demeter shouted as she conjured up another bowl and pushed it towards Nico.

Persephone rolled her eyes while the son of Hades racked his brain for an excuse to decline the offer. He gestured meaningfully to the table, which was already overwhelmed with many bowls of different types of cereal- from cornflakes to cookie-crisps to blocks of what was called Weetbix (a favourite of Australian people, Demeter had proudly told them).

It was difficult living with a wheat-based food fanatic. Nico was already fed up even though it was only the first day of the Christmas holidays- he didn't know whether he could survive another month of this torture.

He wished that his friends at camp had not gone home so that he might stay there with them and not be down in the Underworld listening to the moaning of ghosts and the equally annoying complaining of his grandmother.

It was also a real shame that after the Titan War, his immortal family had grown semi-fond of him (or as fond as immortals were capable of being) and he was constantly being bugged to eat more cereal or asked to walk around in the gardens with his stepmother, listening to her drone on about this plant or that flower.

Couldn't she see that it bored him to tears?

Thoughts of travelling back to the above world and hiding from Demeter were interrupted when his father intervened.

Hades put down his newspaper, "Demeter, stop giving him cereal. I need to talk to my son."

 _Oh no._

"Nico," he said, turning to his son, "Tell me about what mortal parents do with their children during the end of year Christmas holiday."

That question caught him off guard.

It was another one of his father's 'get to know my son' moments and he wasn't sure if he was going to like how this one turned out. The other time when he told his father that mortal parents cooked food for their kids the god of the Underworld had flown into a rage and spat that the mighty Hades didn't do anything as lowly as cooking.

So, this time he chose his words carefully.

"I guess they buy them gifts and take them around to fun places," Nico said, watching his father for a reaction.

The lord of the dead scratched at a soul that was trying to escape from his robe, "And how do they take them around to places? Is it in those damned vehicles that crash and kill its occupants?"

Nico tried not to laugh. It was always hilarious when Hades used the word 'damned'. His father mistook his reaction and growled in annoyance.

"What are they called then? Automobiles?"

Persephone laughed and then tried to cover it up with a cough. "Husband, no mortal of the 21st century calls them automobiles anymore! They're called 'cars' nowadays."

Hades glared at his wife, "I couldn't care less! I just know that more and more 'cause of death' forms have that reason compared to a few decades ago."

The goddess of spring didn't reply, but the corner of her mouth remained tilted upwards. Instead she had made a vase of pink roses appear and was snipping some stray leaves with a pair of scissors.

Eventually Hades softened his gaze. "Do you remember when those things had first gained popularity amongst the mortals I purchased one and took you driving along the banks of the River Styx?"

Persephone raised a delicate eyebrow. "I just remember thinking how we would have died so many times if we weren't immortals!"

The many flowers around the dining room seemed to bloom even more beautifully. A sudden increase in pollen made the demigod want to sneeze.

Nico could never get his head around the fact that his cold and normally emotionless father might have tender moments with his wife.

How strange the thought was? That the mighty lord of the death might fall prey to something as common as love.

Not to mention that something in his chest churned painfully whenever his father's acts of affection was directed at his immortal wife. It reminded the young man bitterly that no matter how much his father claimed to have loved his mother, Maria, that she would always be a side affair.

Demeter made a sound of disgust at the show of affection and vanished from the room in a huff. Wheat stalks covered the seat where she'd sat.

The lord of the dead noticed Nico's stare and coughed awkwardly. His shuffled around in his chair to gain a regaler posture and scrutinised his son.

"So," he said, "Continue on with telling me where mortals transport their children to with their automobiles."

Persephone rolled her eyes.

"To school? To the shops or to their friends' houses." As a second thought he added, "Or they go on road trips and holidays."

The lord of the dead nodded, "The shops or friends' houses- Do you ever go to any of these places?"

Nico hesitated. He knew that his father didn't mean it in a malicious way, but he was reminded keenly of just how abnormal his life was, even by demigod standards. Life at camp was a lot easier after he came to everybody's rescue at the battle in Manhattan, but old habits were hard to kick and the hordes of newly claimed campers treated him like a diseased man.

He didn't even have a mortal parent to go back to.

If he wasn't hanging around like an outcast at camp, he was here in the dark Underworld both wanted to gain the attention of and at the same time trying to avoid his father. His only friend that might be worth visiting was Percy and he normally just shadow travelled there.

Shopping centres he keenly avoided. The crowds of people made his heart race and it was much too easy for a monster to come up and stick a knife through his ribcage.

Even that thought made him depressed. No kid his age should be thinking about such things, and yet it was just a basic survival instinct for him.

"Sometimes. Normally not."

Hades stood up and beckoned to him, "Follow me, Nico."

The demigod felt the command wash over him and started to follow his father's retreating back before his mind even logically comprehended the order.

He gave Persephone a bow before he left just to be on the safe side. He didn't look good as a plant.

-o-o-

Aside from the fact that Hades was a god, he was also physically taller that Nico in the current form he had chosen.

Thus, Nico felt like an idiot as he half jogged to keep up with the long purposeful strides that his father was capable of making. His sword slapped against his thigh and he made a mental note to tighten it up when they stopped.

"Dad, where are we going?"

"You'll see."

Finally, they stopped outside a large wooden door, with sounds of metal striking metal coming from behind it. Nico wondered if his father had finally gone bonkers and decided to listen to Demeter's suggestion that he be condemned to a lifetime of hard, 'character-building' labour.

He was seriously considering making a run for it when his father pushed open the door and revealed a massive room that any car enthusiast would have immediately started to drool over. There were all kinds of machines- from modern race cars to those old-fashioned cars with an outside seat for the driver in front.

"I'm going to give you an early Christmas gift," Hades said. He beckoned to some unseen person.

Nico felt blood pump through his head, "You're going to give me my own car?!"

The lord of the dead chuckled, "Of course not. I'm sure mortals don't allow those under legal age to drive. A useless concept if you ask me, but you must obey it nevertheless."

The demigod's face feel.

"I'm going to give you something even better."

As they were speaking, a skeleton had approached them. Closer examination showed Nico that it (or he) wasn't a skeleton, but more like a zombie. Not one of those creepy Walking Dead kinds with rotten flesh though. He looked a lot like a normal person, but just had slower movements and a completely lack of expression his eyes. If he had seen the guy from a distance in the mortal world he probably wouldn't even have noticed a difference.

"I've never seen any of your solders look as human like him before."

Hades looked proud of himself, "I reanimated him for you myself. Meet Jules Félix Philippe Albert de Dion de Wandonne. He was a French Marquis."

 _Wait, Jules what?_

Nico nodded in confusion, "Nice to meet you. What's a Marquis?"

"A title in the traditional French nobility system."

"Alright. So, where's my gift?"

Hades looked annoyed, "Jules-Albert is your gift, Nico."

At the sound of his name, the zombie bowed in the demigod's direction.

"A noble French zombie?" Nico was flabbergasted, "What am I supposed to do with him?"

The lord of the Underworld gestured at the patiently standing zombie, "Jules-Albert was a race car driver. He was the winning driver in the first major motor car race in France."

The zombie groaned angrily.

"But he didn't get the prize because his car was steam powered, which was outside the regulation of the race," Hades added. "Nevertheless, he was still a founding father of the motor racing industry of France."

"But what would I need him for?"

"He's going to be your chauffeur, of course. He can drive you around to shops and to friends' houses."

"You're giving me a French zombie chauffeur?" Nico was incredulous.

"Absolutely." Hades replied, "I don't have time to drive you around to places like mortal parents, but that doesn't mean you should miss out on the experience. Jules-Albert here will be a substitute."

Nico wanted to complain that a zombie driver didn't in way compensate for the lack of a normal lifestyle where one's parents could drive them around. But his father was looking expectantly at him and it suddenly struck the demigod that Hades was really trying to be a good father, despite his lack of understanding of the concept (and subsequent failure).

"Thanks dad." He tried to sound enthusiastic. "He's just what I needed."

Hades looked both relieved and pleased.

"Great. He's yours now. Just call for him whenever you need a driver. It should use less energy than calling up other minions though, because he's attached to you directly. Now, I have business to take care of- Goodbye."

The god of the dead vanished in a puff of blue smoke.

Nico was left alone in the massive mechanic heaven, accompanied by only his zombie chauffeur. It had completely slipped his father's mind that he didn't even have a car to be driver around in.

Nevertheless, he shrugged.

Who knew when a French zombie driver would come in handy? Maybe one day he was going to need to pull off a quick getaway.

Or at least it would be a good conversation starter.

 **Please leave me a like or review. Authors lives off those!**

 **Also, check out my other stories if you liked this one.**

 **H.**


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